Sharia Law Arrives. Apparently. I guess.

OK, so here I was today.  Enjoying my birthday, driving the ShortBus around town to the various nuthouses, drunk tanks and churches, picking up my usual customers and going through generous quantities of Windex on the windows that they lick during their ride.  (OK, that's a fabrication.  I actually don't enjoy birthdays.)

And I'm wrapping up my day, and I check my Facebook feed.  And I see something that just riles me up.  It's a link shared by a friend of mine (who I won't name, as I don't want to embarrass him) to a right-wing propaganda page (who I won't name out of principle).  It's a photo of about a dozen people (women, presumably) dressed in the full head-to-toe burkas that are the trademark of the way Islam treats women.  It's a photo designed to spark immediate outrage in the minds of most Americans who, rightly so, believe that women should be treated equally under the law. 

The caption on this photo reads:  "Sharia Law has no place on American soil.  Please like and share if like millions of Americans you have had enough!!"


Yeah!  You tell 'em!!  I'm so sick to death of all these Muslims coming over here and taking away our freedom.  Murica!!  Now if someone could just tell me exactly when and where this is happening here in Murica, I'd appreciate it, so I can rush right out and get pissed off at... something.

Things like this convince me of two things:

1. There is no idea so stupid that you can't get right-wing Republicans to believe it.
2. I need to take a close look at who I'm friends with on Facebook.

Who the hell is convinced that Muslim Sharia law is going to displace the law of the land here in the United States of Jesustan?  Did someone slip LSD in my Twinkies and now I'm tripping?  Wow.  The way people use fear to push their agenda around here is astounding.  I guess when you have nothing of substance to say, that's what you have to resort to.

Have any of these whackjobs (including the people on the bus behind me -- thanks for riding -- btw, look for our Sick Psycho Rewards Program starting next week.  Free strait jackets on every fifth ride) actually looked up some of the things that are listed in Sharia Law?  Because I have, and here's a sample, courtesy of billionbibles.org : 

•  Theft is punishable by amputation of the right hand (above).
•  Criticizing or denying any part of the Quran is punishable by death.
•  Criticizing or denying Muhammad is a prophet is punishable by death.
•  Criticizing or denying Allah, the moon god of Islam is punishable by death.
•  A Muslim who becomes a non-Muslim is punishable by death.
•  A non-Muslim who leads a Muslim away from Islam is punishable by death.
•  A non-Muslim man who marries a Muslim woman is punishable by death.
•  A man can marry an infant girl and consummate the marriage when she is 9 years old.
•  Girls' clitoris should be cut (per Muhammad's words in Book 41, Kitab Al-Adab, Hadith 5251).
•  A woman can have 1 husband, but a man can have up to 4 wives; Muhammad can have more.
•  A man can unilaterally divorce his wife but a woman needs her husband's consent to divorce.
•  A man can beat his wife for insubordination.
•  Testimonies of four male witnesses are required to prove rape against a woman.
•  A woman who has been raped cannot testify in court against her rapist(s).
•  A woman's testimony in court, allowed only in property cases, carries half the weight of a man's.
•  A female heir inherits half of what a male heir inherits.
•  A woman cannot drive a car, as it leads to fitnah (upheaval).
•  A woman cannot speak alone to a man who is not her husband or relative.
•  Meat to be eaten must come from animals that have been sacrificed to Allah - i.e., be Halal.
•  Muslims should engage in Taqiyya and lie to non-Muslims to advance Islam.

Come on.  None of these things are happening, even in Alabama.

Calm.  The.  Fuck.  Down.  You.  Dumb.  Bastards.

Seriously -- the way some of you right-wingers allow people to jerk you around and prey on your stupidity shows just how hopeless you truly are. 

And what's even worse is the blatant hypocrisy of the whole situation.  Sharia Law is basically allowing religious law to overrule the laws made by man, because God trumps all.  That's what you people are crying foul, about, right?  I actually don't blame you on that.  I would hate to live in a country that thought (you can probably see this coming a mile away, right?) it was ok to substitute religious doctrine for actual man-written code. 

Which is why, I'm sure, you didn't have anything to do with lobbying to defund Planned Parenthood.  Because after all, abortion is legal in the United States of America. 

I'm going to repeat that, because it sounds vaguely important.  ABORTION IS LEGAL IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.  Which means PP was/is providing a safe, legal, medical service to women in need of it.  Nothing wrong with that.  I'm sure none of you Islamophobes would ever support striking down someone's legal rights simply because they have a religious belief that differs. 

And I'm sure none of you true patriots would ever defend outright bigotry.  Like when, say for example, an elected public official of some kind -- I'll just make one up at random -- a clerk, in say, I don't know... Kentucky... might decide not to issue marriage licenses to gay couples.  Gay marriage is LEGAL IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, so I can't imagine anyone supporting a person who would allow her religion to justify such hatred.

Hell.  Maybe I've got this all wrong.  Maybe Sharia Law's already here.